As it turns out, a good way to make dreams come true (or at least make your life change) is to just start typing things you like into the jobs section of Craigslist. For example, a floor stain like myself might try such search terms as: frozen burrito, roadkill, or my own muscles. Sparkling with a childlike optimism rarely glimpsed in our fair Eli, he entered motorcycle into the search bar, and forever changed the course of The Rampage. In fact, he derailed it temporarily and the trailer is sitting vacant (hopefully including mice) at our friends’ house outside of Reno for the next 5 months while we roll around the East Coast living out of hotels and working a demo tour of Can-Am Spyders.
What happens in a trailer, stays in a trailer. At least, this applies to mouse piss, water damage, and stink bugs for some reason, but unfortunately not to heat, sound, or structural integrity. While living in a trailer is a veritable buttload of fun and affords the dwellers a special type of freedom, there are some tricks (hacks, IF YOU WILL?!) to be mastered.
First of all, there isn’t enough room to fart anywhere but on top of your roommate/lover/boy-guy, so the trick is to aim for the face. Secondly, when buying a trailer, remember that it is a terrible investment and probably already has so much water damage that even the Kraken would be bummed out.